29 Apr Buried, or Cremated? It’s your Funeral
Some who don’t know that I design customized cremation urns have asked me, “Would you rather be buried or cremated?” When I was younger, I was asked things like, “Where did you get that sweater?” or “Want to go for a drink?” But you reach an age where people are curious about where you’re going, and it’s not happy hour they’re interested in, but whether you’ll be above or below ground.
Figuring out how to die is only slightly more involved than picking out a mattress, which is now a research project. First, you feel a responsibility to read everything that’s written online, which can only be done by those who are retired and have time. Then you go around trying them out, lying on your side, turning onto your back, speaking to salespeople and hoping you’ll get it right. A bit of pressure is taken off by stores that give you thirty days to try them, during which time you’re allowed to return them. I divorced two queen-sized, pillow-topped mattresses and wish shoe stores had that same policy.
Death is less exciting than replacing a mattress and there’s no try-out period for our pre-planning. You pick burial or cremation without having any sense of which you’d prefer. Talking to a counselor at a cemetery, you discover that pre-planning, even if it’s cheaper than doing it when needed, is costly. My husband and I went back and forth on it until I persuaded him we should be cremated. It’s cheaper and won’t require our son to shlep to a cemetery to see us. We can be in his home 24/7. The urn I designed was done using our own dishes so it reminds us of the dinner table. It’s covered with fun family photos and will cause our son to remember the good times we all had. I always like to be prepared, so having an urn for our ashes awaiting us suits me.