12 Oct Dealing with Sadness
Dealing with our Sadness
When we experience a loss, we’re left with sadness. Many of us are clueless about dealing with it. We struggle with whether to reach out, or to be alone. Do we wallow in it, or try to put it behind us? Some of us don’t eat; others polish off copious amounts of ice cream.
Having a connection to someone we feel safe with can be a big help. But not everyone is that lucky. Some of us have trouble reaching out, afraid of being a burden. Others don’t always say what we need to hear, telling us we should be feeling better as if we’re not moving along quickly enough. But grief is a process. There’s a time to be sad, and we don’t know in advance how long that should last. It makes sense to play it out and let the healing happen when we’re ready.
It can be equally daunting to figure out how to help those we care about who are sad. Sometimes we need to ask what we can do. They may need a shoulder to cry on, an outing or just that we listen. If we can’t pick up on their cues, we can be better friends if they let us know what they want.
What is likely to work best with everyone is to refrain from judging and not to have an agenda or time frame. So whether it’s someone else in need of comfort – or it’s ourselves — we have to remember there’s no time frame, just as there are no rules.
I’m gratified that the personalized cremation urns I design (available on my website, www.sybil sage.com) have provided some comfort for those who are sad because they’ve lost a loved one.
“You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.” – Jonathan Safran Foer